“You can do it, B!”
It was the fourth time my son’s friend got on the platform for the zip line at a local ropes course. We were celebrating G’s 9th birthday. The plan was to have the boys go through the course, eat some ice cream, and then go home for some pizza and a sleepover.
I watched the boys go through the course with my soon-to-be-ex-husband. It’s one of those activities that I can’t do with my boys. The height and the fear of falling is too much for me. While I have no problem riding in tiny planes to Boston or in developing countries, I get dizzy when I’m up high and nothing is around me.
I could feel B’s pain. He said he didn’t have a problem with heights. He seemed to be fine on the platforms, but he was timid about going over some of the shaky features of the ropes course. He sat out some and tried others. Three times he went to the higher platform for the zip line, got hooked up, and said no.
I stood below watching his grit and determination. I was ready to take a photo and text it to his mom. His fear would kick in, and he’d politely decline to go.
But he kept going back up. He wanted to go on that zip line.
When he got up to the platform on that fourth time, the staff member was determined to get him to complete his trip. She talked with him about how to approach the zip line and asked him about his fears. She had him sit in his safety gear and feel how the line would hold him. The other boys would go up and show him how it’s done on the zip line next to his. Each tried to get B to leave the platform, but he would stand there frozen.
There were many people cheering B on as he stood on that platform. He stood there for what seemed to be an eternity as kids and adults continued to zip by him on the other line. He didn’t leave, but he didn’t jump off the platform either. He stood quietly thinking.
It made me think about how our fears can control our thoughts and actions (or inaction) in life.
Sometimes you hold on for dear life and muster up a smile.
Sometimes you stop and let your mind play tricks on you.
But you try. Because that’s all you can do.
If you don’t try, you won’t know what you can do.
You listen to those that cheer you on and you quiet them when you need to concentrate.
When you are ready – if you ever are ready – you take that jump.
And usually it’s not as bad as you thought it would be.
In fact, it might be far better than you ever imagined.
You might just turn around and do it again. Or try something even bolder.
When my son’s friend finally made it off the platform and zip lined off into the sunset (it was getting late at that point!), everyone at the ropes course cheered. It was huge.
B may have been a little embarrassed, but he was mostly proud. And he should have been. At that point, he had gone too far not to jump off that platform. Declining that fourth attempt wasn’t an option.
On the ground, I told him how proud I was of him and how I shared his accomplishment with his mom by text. He just quietly smiled at me. Though I’m sure he wished he was able to do it sooner, it was better late than never.
Courage won out and the fears were quieted.
Have you taken a jump like this in life?
I loved the story, pictures and analogy. And, no, I haven’t taken a jump lately. I’m at the edge, waiting for someone to help me jump off!
Sometimes we need someone by our side to help push us off! I almost went up and gave B a little nudge by the end. But he did it on his own terms. Very cool to see.
Aww, absolutely amazing and way to go B! I am with you and am deathly afraid of heights, but still loved how he conquered his fears here and took this leap here 🙂
He was very proud of himself. I know it was hard for him though. In the end, he said it was really fun.
Wonderful post, and yay to G’s friend for making it through. Quitting my job to travel to South America was like this. While I like change, I have always had a bit of a fear of the unknown. I guess you can say I’m a bit of a control freak; I like to know what’s coming next. But with words of encouragement from friends, coworkers, and loved ones, and the thought that I would probably regret not doing it, I decided to make the plunge, and it ultimately has led to so many wonderful things that I would have not otherwise experienced (like working on my own business full-time!).
So awesome, Bev. That trip sounds so amazing and life-changing. Imagine what life would be like if you didn’t take it!
Okay…I didn’t realize this wasn’t you until I got to the last part – and I was thinking “I’m so sorry about the whole ‘husband’ thing” – I thought boy, I have really been absent to have missed that.
Now, I understand and I AM sorry for your friend.
As for G: OH MY GOSH! I love the word “grit” and “determination” – those two things, more than anything else in this life, can determine whether we succeed for fail. And to see G use his grit and overcome his fears instantly tells me – indeed the world – that he is not only going to be fine, but he’s going to triumph in this life.
Look at that last photo. His body language TOTALLY says, “Oh yes I did!” Ha!
Awesome post!
It is actually me with the soon-to-be-ex and G’s friend who was on the platform. Confusing, I know! I didn’t want to use his full name or photo since I didn’t get permission first.
D’OH Sorry about the husby stuff. That’s not so much fun. :\
Hence the move, eh? *sigh*
Well, I can tell that you’re a person of high moral character and your boys have a wonderful example of true grit. 🙂
Hang in there.
PS – have you seen that movie? True Grit? OMG – it’s a good one!
My whole life!!! This post is some of your best writing! It made me smile, it made me tear up, it made me think…. good for B. May we all be so courageous, and have good mentors to help us along when we are scared, like the guide did with B.
The guide was amazing. He actually thanked her on the ground at the end. She was so happy he finally went.
And thank you for your very kind words, Alexa!
Love this story, and it’s a perfect metaphor for many times in my life. When I’m scared of making a big leap, I try to ask myself, “What’s the worst that can happen?” Then I reassure myself that even if that terrible, awful thing I fear actually did happen, I could deal with it. And 99% of the time, it doesn’t ever happen anyway.
This is a great strategy, Katie. Sometimes it’s worth the risk. The worst thing isn’t always so bad.
Oh Jen… this post is absolutely amazing!! I love love love the parallel… oh so TRUE!! Beautiful way to express what we all go through, much like sweet B!! How many times do we freeze, and grip tightly out of fear… of falling.
I am SO proud of that boy!! We can all learn a lesson from him.
And you.
As you take a jump off of your cliff of life… you WILL soar. Your safety harness is UNBREAKABLE and you have so many believers cheering you on, my friend!! XOOX
Oh, Chris. How I love your comments and your love and support! xoxo
What an amazing story,
Indeed, taking such a jump is never easy at all and it takes lots of courage to accomplish it. The boy must be quite courageous indeed. As for me, I’m also very afraid of heights especially tall ones.
Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for stopping by, Carlo. B was very courageous that day!
Aw, that’s big.
I have never done this but I think I would. I have zero fear of heights. However, I have big fears of loss of control. I can’t really let go sometimes.
I’d want to let go.
This is big.
I hear you, Tamara. Letting go is hard. That whole fear of losing control is part of the reason I have no desire to ski!
“I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”
I often share the above Mark Twain Quote with my clients…
People come into my office all the time with preconceived ideas of taxes, penalties or downsides to wealth and are often pleasantly surprised by the TRUTH… Sounds like Biz pushed through his fear and hopefully he can apply it other aspects of life…
Keep up the great parenting…
Thanks, Eric! Love that quote.
My oldest has a fear of heights. There are limits to how high he’ll go on these types of courses. But he’ll do it anyway, and he makes no apology for what he can’t do. Good for G’s friend!
Good for your son. That’s a good attitude to have. G’s friend did great!
What an accomplishment. I hope he remembers that forever. Kudos to you and to the staff at the venue for having patience and giving him space to come to terms with his fear. That is a gift for sure.
The staff person could have easily told him to step aside and let others go. But she was very patient with him. She would help him, talk to him, leave him be, until he was ready. It was great. Now that I think of it, I should give them a call and compliment the staff member. Wish I knew her name!