I was not cut out to be a stay at home mom. I know this about myself. And while I remember initially feeling guilty about leaving G at daycare when he was a baby more than five years ago, I always knew it was the right decision. So did my husband. I love my kids to death and work a schedule that allows me to have a good amount of time with them in the afternoons, but I also need that intellectually stimulating and adult-only time that I get from work.
One-on-One Time for Once
Daycare is closed this week for a scheduled vacation. Since G is in kindergarten, this means that I get to spend some one-on-one time with Biz. (I get half the week, while Husband gets the other half.) At almost two and a half, this kid has got some serious personality. He’s fiercely independent, even for a two-year old, and has an amazing imagination. For the past two days, I have had the chance to play with him without interruption from his ever watchful older brother. And though G is a bit jealous of my alone time with Biz, I remind him that he had both me and Dad for the first three and a half years of his life. I forget about that sometimes. Little Biz needs his time too.
So far, we’ve played outside, gone for walks to check out all the construction going on in Brunswick, built little monsters and boats with his K’nex and planted flowers in the garden. I’ve had the chance to listen to, and even video, his stories. He has lots of them. Lately most of them involve dinosaurs, excavators, ants and “working in the fields.” He has also been taking care of some baby chicks this week, which he shows me in his hands. Like his big bro, he’s one amazing kid.
Fish Out of Water?
This morning, Biz and I went to a local play center for little ones. I felt like a fish out of water. Being a Tuesday morning, it was a different crowd than I normally would encounter. It was the stay at home mom and grandparent caregiver crowd. It was a bit weird for me because I didn’t have that little mommy voice that everyone else had. I don’t mean this in a demeaning way either. It’s just a sweeter, more affectionate voice than I use when talking to or disciplining my kids. I just can’t imagine talking that way all the time. I guess maybe I would if I were with little kids all the time. Probably not. Of course, they probably think I talk to my kids a bit too much like an adult. Yup. That’s me.
A working mom I am. While I have truly enjoyed spending the past two days with my little one, I’m quite sure I wouldn’t appreciate it as much if I were home all the time. I love my work life balance, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.