Dealing with a sick child is never fun. But when you’re a working mom, and your child goes to daycare, you end up having to make those tough decisions in the morning. I find myself asking the same questions every time: Does he have a fever? How sick is he really? Will he actually rest if I keep him home, or is he better off at daycare?
These questions are much easier to answer when I don’t have important meetings scheduled or deadlines to meet. They’re also much easier when my CPA husband isn’t in the middle of tax season.
I’ve fallen prey to the whole “I’m sick and need to spend the day resting on the couch” bit before. Next thing I know, I’m being asked if we can go outside and play. He’s bored, and I’m not getting any work done.
Typically, it takes a temp of at least 102 to get my kids to slow down or even admit they don’t feel well.
And, yes, I’ve given my kids Tylenol to mask a slight fever, dropped them off and hoped for the best. It usually works. Usually.
We working moms have to make tough decisions sometimes and face (gasp) the judgment of others when we make those decisions. Or at least the perception of that judgment. Let’s admit it, a lot of that guilt is in our own heads.
I know my kids. And I know when they need to stay home. I know when it’s time to call the doctor or give them medicine. Even if it might seem to be later that other moms. Dropping off my sick child only to be called back a couple hours later to pick him up never feels good. (Especially when it happens twice in one week.) But I always stand behind my decisions as a mom because I know that no one knows my kids like me.
And, hey, no one’s perfect.
I’m not feeling guilty at all this week. Really.
How about you? Do you get that working mom’s guilt when your child is sick?
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That’s gotta be tough. But I agree, you know your kiddos best!
It is tough. I’m usually right about the decision to keep them home or send them to daycare or school. It’s when I’m not that makes me feel guilty. I stick with my instincts though! Questioning myself isn’t going to help anything.
It seems to me that sick child + mom= guilt. It’s a fairly straightforward equation. Sometimes I feel guilty that she is sick at all, as if I’m responsible! But realistically it is not our fault and often we need to get things done. Plus kids like sticking to their schedules when possible. So, yeah, I don’t feel guilt either, really.
Very true, Hannah. I think all moms have some sort of guilt built into them that is tied to their kids well-being. We feel like we failed somehow when they’re not well. Of course, it’s not our fault! Feeling guilty won’t make things better. Sticking with the routine is exactly why I often send them to daycare or school when they might not be 100%.
I know exactly what you mean. Even if our Mommy guilt is just in our heads, that doesn’t make us feel any better about that tiny voice which constantly questions our decisions.
I was all set to send my oldest to school with a stomach ache until he threw up in the car. Oh well. I don’t think our kids benefit from being coddled; helping them find ways to manage when things aren’t perfect will make them better able to cope with life’s pitfalls. It’s a tough line to walk, no doubt about it. Sounds like you’re doing a super job!
Thanks, Cynthia! I know you had a tough time with a sick child this week too. Parenting sure is an interesting journey.
I like this post. A few weeks ago my husband and I were slated to go to Colorado for 4 days for a little getaway. Plane tickets bought, everything! The night before we left my daughter spiked a 102.4 temp. I mean wtf! Anyway we ended up leaving despite that with instructions for her grandma. They took her to the Dr while we were gone, turns out it was an ear infection 🙂 Thank goodness for grandmas!
Oh no, Jennifer! Talk about a little guilt right before you left. Hope you got rid of that once you realized your daughter was in good hands. Thank goodness for a support system! Thanks for reading.
I’m a single mom, and traveling once every few months is a part of my job. Nothing is more difficult than leaving my son with my mom for a night when he has a fever. I know that she will give him the medicine. I know that she will check on him in the night. But, the one thing that she can’t do is be me. And…when he is sick, that’s what he wants.
She is an amazing support, but it has honestly led me to turn down a lot of travel opportunities to help my career. I really wish that there were better support systems for those of us who work 10 hours a day…at weird hours…and travel.
That’s a tough one! While you know your son is in good hands, nothing replaces mom. Kids just need that extra comfort only moms can give. If only companies were more accommodating to working moms. Then, we wouldn’t have to make those tough decisions.
Thanks for reading!
I came across your blog via SITS. While I don’t have to deal with the daycare aspect (I am a sahm) I was just thinking about this kind of scenario the other day when my daughter had a slight fever, but was full of energy and excited to go to her first day of swimming lessons. I was literally torn between not wanting her to miss her first day and the guilt of not wanting to give whatever she may have to someone else!? It is always so hard to know what the best thing to do is.
I hope you enjoyed your SITS day!