At some point, I was introduced to the Coach Daddy blog. I think it was through Ilene at the Fierce Diva Guide to Life or Chris at TheMomCafe. Either way, I’m glad I found his blog. First of all, it’s nice to read a parenting blog by a dude. Also, he randomly mentions food a lot.
One time, he mentioned garlic parmesan wings. And, well, like Pavlov’s dog, I crave those wings every time I read Eli’s posts or he comments on this blog. I’m hoping this guest post will help cure my obsession with these wings.
Actually, what I’m really hoping is that my husband prints this post out and plans accordingly. (There’s a Bruins playoff game on this evening. Just saying.)
The following is a guest post from Eli, otherwise known as Coach Daddy.
Wings are king.
We’re not even from Buffalo. But my girls and I, we love wings. So the inch-high stack of Buffalo Wild Wings coupons (six free when you purchase six), delivered by a college girl in a black and yellow t-shirt when I worked at a Hampton Inn, is to us what the Tesseract is to the bad guy in Captain America.
I’ve spent enough time across the table with these girls to pick up on subtleties and tendencies of their wing-destroying ways. I’ve even learned how to grill (not fry) delectable wings that make my girls’ eyes turn all heart-shaped and their tongues kind of wag.
Not all guys just chomp into wings indiscriminately and slobber over Hooters waitresses. I’m a thinking-man’s wing-eater. I’ve developed five toggles that will tell you much about you at your most basic core. It kind of makes Myers & Briggs look like Bert & Ernie.
Where do you fall on the list?
Hot or sweet?
Sweet
There’s something about someone who always chooses the sweet route. Either they’re 6 years old, or they’re the person who comes to Super Bowl parties just for the commercials. Do us a favor: Just stay home to watch the GoDaddy ads, and keep that sickeningly sweet barbecue wing with you.
Hot
Marie is on a mission to work her way up the wing-ometer, with a hotter wing every time we go. Atta girl, Marie. Wings without spice are like soda without caffeine. Or a college without a football team. Your wings should zing, maybe even sting.
Baked or fried?
Baked
Everything, in moderation. I grill wings for the girls now. Everything – even veggies – are better grilled. Baked is good, too. It’s the business casual, the two-door sedan: The safe, delicious version. With the right rub, it’s going to taste like Christmas and Independence Day, anyway.
Fried
Everything, in moderation, II. Sometimes, it’s about jeans and a T-shirt. A 1968 Camaro. Red Hot Chili Peppers, played a bit too loud. Fried is the reason for the season, and if we go baked and grilled 100 percent of the time, next thing you know, we fellas will be getting manies and peddies.
Drumette hog, or take what Jesus gives you?
Drumette hog
You’re like the dude who pulls out in front of me in traffic, then puts on your seatbelt. Total.Tool. God gave chickens two wings, made of two parts. In this world, there are an equal number of wing tips and drumettes. When you target the meaty portions, you’re upsetting the balance of the universe.
Take what Jesus gives you
Where two or more are gathered in His name, he is there too. This goes for a booth in China King or on your backyard patio furniture. Whether you have a cold one and wings with the boys, or sweet tea and wings with the kids, just be happy you’re in a universe that includes wings. Amen.
Eat to the bone, or leave some on
Leave some on
Communist. You probably don’t eat your pizza crusts either, and I’m sure you don’t recycle. You’d rather toss out your MC Hammer CDs than get up early on a Saturday morning and put them in a yard sale. What gives you the right? You’d make a lousy Allosaurus. Your Carnivore Card? Revoked.
Eat to the bone
You’d make a Sioux chief proud, little warrior. Waste not, want not. You’re the type to repurpose, plant a tree, or at least ask for a doggie bag (and stuff rolls, butter and jelly in it, too). Resourceful. Appreciative. Able to put your all into everything you do. I want you on my team.
Modest or free spirit?
Free spirit
Elise used to demand when I made wings, “make them messy, daddy!” Who am I kidding? She still does. Wing eaters should approach the art with abandon. Paper towels and wet naps, be damned. This is why God put sleeves on shirts. Ain’t nothing a plate of wings can do that a good hosing off can’t remedy.
Modest
I won’t slam this subset. Marie used to take one bite, and wipe her hands and mouth. Now? She hardly chews. But if you have a nice shirt on, or want to stand out to Tiffany your server, or just aren’t as barbaric as my kids and I, I’ll give you a pass. You can even use my napkin. It’s hardly used.
How’d you do?
There isn’t a breakdown for your answers. This isn’t Cosmo. You know where you stand. The more of the first answers described you, the better (except baked vs. fried. Can’t we all just get along?)
I will impart a recipe that bonds Jen and I and that will probably spread love and tenderness worldwide if we let it. Garlic.Parmesan.Wings. Also known as the real reason Jen asked me over!
Coach Daddy’s Garlic Parmesan Wings
What’ you’ll need
- 1 teaspoon dried oregano
- 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
- 1 teaspoon sea salt
- 2 1/2 pounds chicken wings
- 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil (or melted butter)
- 2 tablespoons minced fresh basil
- 1 -2 cloves of garlic
- 1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese
- 1/2 teaspoon seasoning salt
- 1 cup bleu cheese dressing (for dipping perfection)
What you’ll do
In a small bowl, mix cumin, oregano and salt. Lay the wings on a baking sheet and season the chicken wings with this mixture.
Grill the wings. At the same time, mix together oil, basil, garlic, parmesan cheese and seasoning salt. Toss the grilled-perfection wings with the garlic/cheese/olive oil (or butter) sauce. Serve with the blue cheese dressing, and save six on a plate for me. I’ll bring dessert.
When he’s not learning to play like a girl or failing as a Christian during Lent, Eli can be found posting twice weekly on his blog, Coach Daddy.
I love wings. I don’t make them often enough! Definitely going to try these! And I really enjoy Coach Daddy’s blog, going to head over there for a visit too!
Wings are kind of like a connection to heaven. Thanks for the visit – I need to get back to your place today too, Michelle.
We love wings in our home, too, although much to Eli’s chagrin, my girls and I like them sweet. Luckily, my hubby will only eat them as hot as humanly possible, so he helps our wuss factor! ;)-Ashley
Well, so long as you eat most of the meat off the bone, and don’t hog the drumettes, I’ll overlook a little sweet barbecue. A good hot wing ought to make your face and fingers numb for a good eight hours after you’re finished, you know.
I think Benjamin Franklin might have said that.
Now you’ve got ME craving chicken wings, lol. I don’t eat much meat, but I do like a good wing. ahaha.
I’m going to try these soon! Yum!
I don’t usually crave chicken wings until 10 a.m. or so, but at 8:45, I wouldn’t turn down a plate right now. Wings are the bridge between vegetarians and carnivores, apparently. Maybe we can find common ground on a piled-high plate of buffalo wings somewhere.
Let me know how yours turn out!
Jen – thanks for having me over! I’ll fire up the grill – can you run to the store? I think you’re out of Parmesan!
(And I think we’re going to need more wings.)
I’m on it! I will bring my 7-year old. The males in the house are in charge of grocery shopping, so I need him to show me where things are when I do go.
I will also pick up some bacon for good measure.
Happy to have you here, Eli!
Hi Jennifer – I found you via CoachDaddy. I also have made the odd food reference which he has descended upon like starving ants on a hunk of pork back.
Now that I found you,and read you, I might just develop a girl crush. Is that OK?
I descend with much more grace than ants, thank you very much. More like an eagle or hawk or at least a kingfisher.
A girl crush is totally ok, Jesse! Thanks for stopping by. I will check you out as well (well, your blog at least). 🙂
I feel like I saw a movie like this on Cinemax when I was a teenager.
I am from Buffalo and I have to say I make variation of this-I switch out the cumin forCreole Seasoning and more often I use chicken breast cut into nugget size and I coat the chicken and bake it. I have to say I REALLY like his five toggles–“LEAVE SOME ON” is a HUGE NO NO in our house!
Great post!!!
toggles was too weak a word, but commandments, maybe too strong? Something in the middle.
Recipes are made to be mixed up, too, for sure. There are days I grill them plain, then dump a bunch of sauces and spices in a big bowl, and beat the grilled wings around in it until my arms hurt.
I’ve tried fixing wings and they never seem to come out right…and I consider myself a pretty good cook. These look hot and delicious! The pic draws me in. Definitely pinning and perhaps I shouldn’t give up on fixing wings yet…..
Grilling is best, I think. I don’t as much success when I bake them – everything rolls off. I’ve also been able to grill them plain, just pepper and salt, then beat them around in a mixture of sauce and spices – including Parmesan cheese and garlic.
If I have too much garlic, I might have to visit your blog on the homemade air fresheners …
There is no such thing as too much garlic.
Atta girl.
Oh how fun to see you two together!!! This is so adorable and hilarious!!! So Eli, I have a confession to make. I don’t really like wings. And apparently if I do eat them at someone’s house or party- (I never think to make them or buy them or order them) I will always go for the ones with the meat. I will always leave some of that other gross stuff (apparently still worthy of eating) on the bone, and I would have to not only wipe my face four hundred and thirty eight times, but I definitely need to go sneak to the bathroom and grab my portable toothbrush and go to town. Please don’t hate me!! I am a true wing sinner… 😉
Where there’s a wing, there’s a way. It was something that had to be done, and I just followed the smell of bacon to get here.
I can forgive the tooth-brushing after wing-eating – I usually wish I had floss, too – and I’m going to try my best to overlook the meat-leaving. I’m pretty sure if Jesus served wings at the Last Supper, he’d not hog the drumettes or leave any meat on the bone.
Can you imagine, though? We’d receive a wing and bleu cheese at communion.
You’re forgiven, Wing Sinner. I’m feeling all New Testament today.
OMG that picture has my mouth watering! Love the humorous breakdown, and I do believe I will be trying this recipe. We love wings too!
I try not to look at the picture directly more than 17 times a day. Glad you enjoyed the breakdown, but I’m afraid to ask where you fall in the spectrum! No matter – wing lovers need to unite.
mmm mmm mmm mmm..
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