I’m sitting in the social security office as I write these words on my iPhone. I was here on Friday with paperwork in hand to change my name legally back to Jennifer Iacovelli. I filled out my form and brought my license, passport, birth certificate and divorce decree declaring the change. The only problem was that there was no seal from the court on my decree.
And so I found myself back in the car to drive the 33 miles to the courthouse and pay $5 for an official seal. I was wondering why the woman at the social security office felt each page of my decree so carefully with her hand.
There was a much shorter line on Friday. So, I sit and wait and contemplate.
The closing for my old house was on Friday, lifting a massive burden from my life. With that transaction, I am officially split from my ex-husband, legally and financially.
And so I begin to reclaim my life. A life that has, for the last six months, revolved around separating two people heavily intertwined in a 20-year relationship with children and real estate.
The kids and the real estate complicate things in divorce and require a whole lot of planning and paperwork, not to mention many consultations with lawyers, accountants, financial planners and other professionals.
It’s over now though, and I am thankful. I know women who are in year two of separating / divorcing. It’s not a fun process.
While I am still tying up loose ends, I’ve made it to the other side.
This past weekend I felt a happiness I hadn’t felt before. It’s hard to explain, but I felt complete again. As I’ve said before, I do not have any regrets, but I am ready to move into my new life. My new normal where I can enjoy living life fully on my terms and to be the best mother I can be to my two boys.
I feel like I’m already doing this, of course. But it’s different now. A good different. Things are aligning again right where they should.
To those who have been by my side all this time both physically and virtually, I am grateful. I have a whole lot of thank you notes to write this fall. I also have a lot of catching up to do with reading and responding to comments and visiting the regular blogs I normally do. I was sneaking peeks at your comments and messages as I divorced, moved and sold my home over the past two weeks. Some of your words stopped me right in my tracks and overwhelmed me.
You filled my heart. And that made it so much easier to get to the other side.
So glad you are indeed on the the other side now and truly does sound like you are in a much better place, but then again as I have indeed followed your journey, I definitely saw all your strength and courage there all along. Hugs to you today and just happy to know that you are indeed happier and even stronger then before now 🙂
Oh, Jen, this brought tears to my eyes. I’m so happy for you and am amazed at how quickly and seemingly calmly you went through all of this. I so admire your strength! You are an incredible, loving mom raising two sweet, smart, beautiful boys, and I can’t wait to see what this new chapter in your life brings!
I’m imagining the happiness you’re feeling – the weightless feeling that comes with that burden finally being lifted – and am so filled with joy for you. I so admire your strength through it all!
So happy that you’ve made it. It’s all uphill from here.
Such grace, such dignity … an inspiration for all.
Love to you on your new journey – I predict years of awesome ahead xxxx
I’m happy for you Jen and glad that you are feeling peace as you shed the remaining strings of your recent past. I’ve followed your journey and know it wasn’t easy – your attitude and awareness have been a great example, though, for those of us fortunate enough to read your words and for your children, too, I’m sure. Wishing you all the best and look forward to sharing your new experiences.
Ah… how I love this post!! I feel like I can exhale with you, dear friend! Your strength, integrity and unbelievable perseverance continue to inspire me.
Here’s to THE OTHER SIDE!!!
Where dreams come true, new beginnings are birthed, and your identity is sealed with intention and grace and above all else, love.
I bet the view is is beautiful as you stand on your mountain top… looking out on the world, and remembering the climb that got you here.
Oh, how I celebrate both your climb and your view!!!
So glad that you have made it to the other side! Here’s to a happier future!
I am sure this wasn’t easy for you. You seemed so calm throughout and having seen many bitter divorces, I am sure that to do things the way you did took a lot of grace and patience. Wishing you only the best as you start your journey on the other side!
And you made it to the other side.
With beautiful words and wisdom and care. I’ve seen it happen so differently, and for such longer periods of time like you mentioned.
Kudos to you! I know it must have been difficult in ways I haven’t experienced.
Onward!
I have chills reading this. So happy to hear you so happy on the other side and ready to move on and live a big life. I’m so happy for you!
I’m so happy to see this posting – I’m going through a divorce right now and it will probably be the world’s quickest divorce process … but my heart is still healing and I’ll still be connected to my ex because of our kids. It’s great to see so many strong women make it to the other side and find happiness. Fills me with hope! 🙂