Each Friday, the another jennifer blog shares stories of those who incorporate philanthropy into their everyday lives – personally and professionally – in a creative and unique way. If you have a story you’d like to share, please contact Jennifer. You can view past posts from the series here.
The following article is a guest post from my good friend Ilene Evans.
We stood on the grass as the van made its way over the gravel driveway. As it came to a stop, E. emerged with a brown cocker spaniel in her arms.
“This one’s yours!” she said as she handed the dog to me. “Isn’t he a beauty?”
Could Brock be any cuter?
The kids gathered around me as we said hello to our first foster dog Brock.
That was a year ago.
We’ve fostered fourteen dogs since.
For those of you unfamiliar with the role of dog foster parents, we are the bridge between the shelter and the permanent home for a dog, most of them narrowly escaping being euthanized at high kill facilities. According to the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (“ASPCA”), approximately 3 million to 4 million dogs and cats are euthanized in shelters annually. This number translates to 60 percent of dogs and 70 percent of cats entering shelters are “put down,” and never have the chance to find a home or return to the home they strayed from.
Animal rescue organizations around the country work with extensive networks of shelter workers, rescue drivers and rescue pilots to release dogs from shelters and transport them to families who are willing to care for them until they find permanent homes.
In my house, rescuing dogs is a family affair. Not only are my three children involved with the care of our foster dogs, they are also acutely aware that every time we take a dog, we are saving a life. Is it difficult to say goodbye to the dogs when they find their permanent homes? Absolutely. It’s not unusual for there to be tears on adoption day. We love these dogs. As a foster family, that’s part of our job.
I’ve had many people ask me questions such as these.
“Won’t the kids be sad when the dog is adopted?”
Of course the kids will be sad.
Some people have gone as far as to say this:
“How can you let your kids get attached to these dogs only to have them leave you?”
When we love something, we tend to want it to stay around forever, but nothing is forever. That’s not how life works. We will all have many goodbyes in our lifetime, and the farewell to our foster dogs is bittersweet. It’s that good kind of hurt, of knowing that our dog is moving on to an owner who will love that dog the way we did, creating room in our home to save yet another life.
With every goodbye, comes another hello.
With every goodbye, we give another shelter dog a second chance.
For more information on becoming a foster parent to shelter dogs, in Central New Jersey, contact Castle of Dreams Animal Rescue. Or, contact your local ASPCA.
Ilene Evans, the Creator of The Fierce Diva Guide to Life, is a writer, yoga teacher, soccer mom, and foster parent to over a dozen rescue dogs. You can find Ilene blogging at The Fierce Diva Guide to Life, as well as on Facebook, Twitter, or Google Plus.
Julia says
May 3, 2013 at 7:37 amWow, what Ilene and her family does is awesome! I had no idea that euthanization percentages were so high.
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ilene says
May 3, 2013 at 8:08 amJulia, those euthanization numbers break my heart. I wish I could save every last one – but for now, we will do what we can for one dog at a time.
ilene recently posted..Hello…Goodbye
AnnMarie says
May 3, 2013 at 8:09 amI would do this in a heartbeat if I wasn’t insanely allergic to dogs and cats. I think this is a wonderful way to teach kids about the world: love, life, having a good heart, sometimes feeling it break but being okay. Thank God for you and people like you that are able to save these animals and Brock…heartbreaker!
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Ilene says
May 3, 2013 at 10:00 amBrock broke my heart – he was our first dog and our first goodbye. But I love this work and so do our kids. And we know that when we say goodbye, another hello is not far behind!
Alison says
May 3, 2013 at 8:14 amIlene, I think what you and your children do, is simply wonderful. It’s also great that the kids are learning about compassion and giving back. Great stuff!
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Ilene says
May 3, 2013 at 11:16 amI love that my kids are learning compassion this way. It’s just as much a gift for us as it is for the dogs.
Ilene recently posted..Hello…Goodbye
Cyndi says
May 3, 2013 at 8:58 amAww…this post actually brought tears to my eyes. 3 to 4 million? Oh that makes me just feel awful. We make a point of rescuing strays or adopting from the shelter. And since our doggie passed away, we’ve been waiting for one to come along that won’t upset our cats and won’t run amok since we live out in the country. Running around is fine, but running away is another issue entirely. Our yellow lab generally stayed around, occasionally finding our neighbor’s little boy to make him throw stick. But yeah, we’re looking at taking in an animal from the no-kill shelter and many of them are in foster homes. We’ve thought about fostering, but with two resident adult cats (who were strays themselves) we need to keep the peace. Awesome post. 🙂
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Ilene says
May 3, 2013 at 11:18 amI am so sorry to hear about your dog passing away. It’s so tough to lose a pet. But I’m glad that you are going to adopt your next one from a no kill facility – and yes, I completely understand waiting for that “right” dog to come along. The kids and I always talk about the dog that we would have adopted out of our brood of fosters. It was a shepherd mix we had last summer. We loved every one of our dogs but only a select few would have been right for the long haul.
Ilene recently posted..Hello…Goodbye
jen says
May 3, 2013 at 9:01 amWhat a great thing to do! And it must be so much fun for your whole family.
I wish there was something like that available in my area. I was appalled to read in my local newspaper just this Wednesday that %90 of the animals turned into our county shelter are put down. That statistic is shocking and quite frankly inhumane in my opinion.
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Ilene says
May 3, 2013 at 11:39 amThe kill statistics are shocking – and senseless. A lot of this could be prevented by better spay and neuter practices and by the abolishment of backyard breeders. For now, my family and I will do what we can to help one dog at a time. I would hate to think of any of our dogs being in danger of being put down.
Ilene recently posted..Hello…Goodbye
anotherjennifer says
May 4, 2013 at 8:34 pmI’ve been letting Ilene take care of the comments here, but that stat just breaks my heart, Jen. The shelter where we got our oldest dog routinely makes trips down south to rescue dogs who are about to be euthanized. Sadly, there just aren’t enough resources to save them all. I had never even thought about fostering dogs until I heard Ilene talk about it. What an amazing way to give back!
The Dose of Reality says
May 3, 2013 at 9:08 amWhat you are doing is so beautiful. I adore that it is a family affair. Your kids are learning such wonderful lessons. You rock my friend. I give a big thank you and a hug to you and your entire family. If it weren’t for people like you, I wouldn’t have my sweet rescue dog and cat. And I can’t imagine that!! –Lisa
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Ilene says
May 3, 2013 at 11:41 amLisa, I am so glad you have a rescue dog and rescue cat. I seriously can not imagine any of these animals – lucky enough to have homes like yours – ever being in danger of being put down.
Ilene recently posted..Hello…Goodbye
Chris Carter says
May 3, 2013 at 9:32 amOh Ilene, I am SO glad Jennifer hosted you today!! You are truly such an amazing woman. I absolutely love that your family lives this lifestyle of ministry to care for these precious animals. If we didn’t have asthma and allergies, I could see our family doing it as well. I love the idea and the lessons you teach your children through it all!
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Ilene says
May 3, 2013 at 11:42 amThese animals add so much love to our home. I can’t imagine life without them now!
Ilene recently posted..Hello…Goodbye
Krystal says
May 3, 2013 at 9:58 amIlene – once again..wonderful!! I had an English Bullie that unfortunately I had to place with a rescue group. She was inbred and very aggressive, even wit the most intense training. She could not be in a home with children. I have too many children. So with a heavy heart we placed her with a rescue group who took care of her and worked long and hard with her and she eventually went to a furever home with another English Bullie and NO kids…she was a happy girl!! If she had gone to a shelter she would have been put down immediately. Thanks for all you do.
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Ilene says
May 3, 2013 at 11:53 amThat was the PERFECT solution for your English Bullie! And that’s the beauty of rescue groups. the rescue group I work with has taken owner surrender dogs for very similar if not identical reasons and sometimes, great dogs just need different home environments due to kids, other animals, etc. I am glad you found this solution.
Ilene recently posted..Hello…Goodbye
Denise says
May 3, 2013 at 11:20 amI love that you foster dogs. It is such a wonderful thing that your family provides to these dogs. And a great lesson to your children.
Ilene says
May 3, 2013 at 11:54 amThanks, D. It has been great for my kids. And it’s been a wonderful bonding experience for us. Not just with the dogs but with each other.
Ilene recently posted..Hello…Goodbye
Rabia @ TheLiebers says
May 3, 2013 at 12:10 pmWhat a great example you are setting for your kids! (And letting them experience sadness and disappointment is a good thing-it’s part of life!)
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Ilene says
May 3, 2013 at 1:02 pmI 100% agree with you – sadness and goodbyes are a part of life and well worth the work we do with these dogs. It’s all good stuff!
Ilene recently posted..Hello…Goodbye
Michelle says
May 3, 2013 at 12:27 pmI think its wonderful what you do! We are serial adopters over here. With 7 pets in our household, I wouldn’t dare try fostering too, although I’d consider doing it down the road. But 6 of our current 7 were shelter animals, and over the last 22 years, we have taken in at least 10 shelter animals and 2 strays.
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Ilene says
May 3, 2013 at 1:04 pmMichelle, I know! You guys are collecting dogs and cats over there! I think that was one of our first conversations, actually! I love that your collection is comprised mostly of shelter animals. I think it’s the best way to adopt!
Ilene recently posted..Hello…Goodbye
Michelle says
May 3, 2013 at 1:16 pmIt really is! Murphy is the only pet we have ever had that hasn’t been a shelter animal and I couldn’t resist. We’ve never had a puppy and he was the last left in a litter with no one claiming him. And he was so cute. Still is, just a bit devilish. 🙂 But we are shelter people all the way!
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Ilene says
May 3, 2013 at 1:37 pmI hope you have photos of all of these adorable creature. I want to see pictures at BBC! And of your kids, too or course!
Ilene recently posted..Hello…Goodbye
Kim@Co-Pilot Mom says
May 3, 2013 at 12:42 pmI was tearing up reading this. I can only imagine the bittersweetness of it all – growing so attached and having to say goodbye, but knowing that you have saved a life in the process. Such a beautiful thing you and your family are doing, Ilene!
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Ilene says
May 3, 2013 at 1:05 pmI think we cry with every goodbye – we love these dogs so much! But there is always another dog behind the one we say goodbye to. Unfortunately, there are so many who need homes – more than can be accommodated.
Ilene recently posted..Hello…Goodbye
Michelle says
May 3, 2013 at 3:58 pmIlene – I love you but I have to stop reading your posts. They always make me cry…in a good way, of course:).
We adopted a our first dog, Jesse, from an amazing foster parent. I remember her heading into her house before we even had a chance to leave. She started to tear up and told us that she already said her goodbyes in her home. She fostered dozens of Boxers and saved many lives. We’ll never forget her because she gave us our first “baby”.
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Martha says
May 3, 2013 at 4:15 pmI had no idea that the fostering of animals even existed until I learned about you and all you’ve been doing. It’s really amazing, and like Denise (above) said, what a great lesson for your kids!
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ilene says
May 3, 2013 at 6:33 pmIt has been really good for us, Martha. A great experience and sort of has become the “cause” for our family. I learned about fostering from a friend of mine. I’m so glad to pass on the info!
ilene recently posted..Hello…Goodbye
ilene says
May 3, 2013 at 4:33 pmNow I’m crying too! Some of my goodbyes are so hard. We love these dogs so much. Thank you for sharing your story about Jesse. I’m glad you took Jesse from the foster because it made room for her to take in another one.
ilene recently posted..Hello…Goodbye
Tamara says
May 3, 2013 at 8:54 pmI think it’s great. They are growing up knowing what you are doing to help the dogs of the world. I’ve thought about it a lot. I’ve also been thinking about forever dogs now that the two kids aren’t as brand new as one was until recently. I imagine it’s hard but that you stepped into it knowing you’d say goodbye so as much as you probably give them great love and care, you aren’t doing that with the same intention as those who are adopting forever dogs.
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Ilene says
May 4, 2013 at 12:11 pmWe always know the goodbye is coming. It’s usually a happy day because all of the adoptive families that I’ve worked with have been incredible – but also a sad day – because we are saying goodbye to a dog that we have completely fallen in love with. We really do love them like they’re ours, though. Even if they are only ours for a few weeks.
Ilene recently posted..Hello…Goodbye
Eli says
May 4, 2013 at 7:04 amHey Jen, Hey Ilene … I brought pizza. Can I stay awhile?
It’s obviously a beautiful thing you’re doing for these dogs, Ilene, but the lesson you’re teaching your children in this process are too vast to even try to cover in a little comment box. The compassion and understanding of this world your kids are growing up with makes me feel more at ease about my kids sharing a world with them.
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Ilene says
May 4, 2013 at 12:23 pmThanks, Eli. I’m so proud of my kids. They treat each dog like it’s ours versus a visitor. And every time a dog gets adopted, they cry it out and then are willing to start the whole process again. As far as compassion and understanding go, and love for that matter, the dogs have taught us a lot. Dogs are pure. No filters, no biases, no conditions to how they love people. They are completely uncomplicated. I’ve learned a lot from them – and I think my kids have too.
And yes, you can stay as long as you like, especially if you brought pizza. Although I think Jen will be pining for those garlic parmesan wings.
Ilene recently posted..Hello…Goodbye
anotherjennifer says
May 4, 2013 at 8:41 pmYou can stay as long as you’d like, Eli. And pizza and wings go great together. Just saying. Maybe you can write a guest post for me all about garlic parmesan wings….Yum.
Alexa says
May 5, 2013 at 8:26 amThis is so sweet and such a great idea! My kids really want a pet, but neither my husband and I are really that crazy about committing long term. This could be a win-win situation for us! And help such adorable creatures! Thanks for sharing this!
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Ilene says
May 5, 2013 at 7:01 pmAlexa, one of the reasons we went the foster route is that we were not ready to commit either – and the ultimately fell in love with fostering! It was a win-win for us for the same reasons!
Ilene recently posted..Hello…Goodbye
Mary @ A Teachable Mom says
May 7, 2013 at 11:08 pmYou’re a wonder. Sigh. I love your writing and your approach to life and parenting in all its forms. I can’t imagine fostering dogs with all the demands of raising children. Thank you for sharing your big heart and passion with all of us, even the canine variety. xo
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Ilene says
May 8, 2013 at 5:44 amWe adore doing this! It adds to the “crazy’ but in the best way possible. It puts more love in the room. I was honored to get to share over here for Jennifer. She completely rocks all things that are “social good.”
Ilene recently posted..My Week in Laundry