This following article is a guest post from my friend and a former co-worker way-back-when, Sheila Adell.
photo credit: Sheila Adell
I know it’s supposed to be Empty Nest syndrome but what I am really wondering is “what’s next?”
There are countless parenting books on how to breast feed, potty train and home school your child but not a lot out there about parenting after age 18. It’s a scary and proud series of moments when your child is ready to go out into the world and start their own lives, and you are supposed to be ready to start figuring it out too.
My second and last child will turn 18, graduate from high school and go to college all within the next 6 months. My oldest went off to college 2 years ago, and I haven’t quite gotten over that yet. My emotions are a constant roller coaster ride from week to week. My husband and I are equally planning couple vacations and crying quietly in our pillows at night (he masks his crying with snoring).
I find I am remembering when my son learned how to ride a bike and my daughter took the car out for the first time. Both times, I watched them go around the corner and my heart sank because I had no idea what they were going to face. The empty nest is a lot like that, only scarier.
Just as my kids are going out into the world, so am I. Planning a life that doesn’t include daily meal preparations, hounding about homework or school drop off times is a little daunting. (I am kind of excited not to have to battle school drop offs anymore and, honestly, cereal for dinner every night might help me lose a few pounds.)
I am going to have my pre-marriage relationship with my husband back. We will have the freedom to stay out until 1:00am, take a trip out of town for the day, or go out to dinner in the middle of the week. It might look more like go to sleep at 5:00pm, drive to the next town over or spend our meals in front of the TV while stalking our kids on Facebook.
But I guess the point is that there are so many possibilities.
I remember both my stumbles and victories fondly when I started out. The biggest part of me is excited to see them try new things and succeed, fail and try again. Kind of like what I will be doing at the same time.
I know my role isn’t really changing. My father-in-law used to say “little kids – little problems, big kids – big problems.” They will always need me. I just wish I had those parenting books back now that told me how to bathe my children and when to get their shots. I would add a couple of phrases to the end of each chapter that say: “Don’t Blink, “It goes by so fast” and “You think you are filled with love and wonder now…Wait until they turn 18… It gets even better.”
Sheila Adell is a 40–ish mother of 2 who was born, raised and lives in Portland, Maine. She currently works for a health care facility in Portland as a Project Manager.
Jess says
March 31, 2015 at 6:10 amI can’t even imagine! My girls are 4 and 10 months and I can tell it is going to fly by way too fast! I love that you are thinking about this in such a positive light! Good luck to your babies at college and you and your husband in the months to come. Cereal for dinner is underrated! 🙂
Jess recently posted..Weekend things
Sheila says
March 31, 2015 at 7:52 amThank you! We are already stocking up on the Captain Crunch
Sisters From Another Mister says
March 31, 2015 at 7:28 amNot sure that it ends .. my parents were over here dealing with my life last night …
and they are 70 …
Sisters From Another Mister recently posted..Should secrets be tucked away?
Sheila says
March 31, 2015 at 7:57 amI am looking forward to seeing my kids as adults.. although I am sure I will have a hard time seeing them that way.
EInger says
March 31, 2015 at 1:24 pmYou will be so proud of them that your heart will swell
Ginny Marie says
March 31, 2015 at 7:54 amThis post rings so true…I’m not sure what I’m going to do when I don’t have little kids to take care of any more! (I’m sure my husband will hide his crying with snoring as well…)
Ginny Marie recently posted..Something funny happened on the way to…
Sheila says
March 31, 2015 at 1:58 pmI’ve been thinking about starting a “when the kids are gone” bucket list and see how many of them I can get done before they come back again.
Bev says
March 31, 2015 at 9:27 amJust the other day I said to my husband about our 16-month-old “What if one day she moves really far away from us? I’ll be so sad!” It’s so hard to imagine *not* having my daughter around. I remember thinking how much I would miss the spontaneous date-nights to the movies with my husband right before she was born, but right now I really don’t. I can only imagine how hard it must be to have your children grow up and move out. Obviously that’s what is ultimately supposed to happen (and it’s a great thing!) but it has to be a little heart-breaking as well.
Bev recently posted..Rocks and Salt: Handmade accessories for the head and home
Sheila says
March 31, 2015 at 2:00 pmVery heartbreaking and heart warming all at the same time.
Alexa says
March 31, 2015 at 5:57 pmI know I’ll miss them when they are gone, but I am, truthfully, looking forward to the empty nest. But I”ll do the best I can to enjoy them now~
Alexa recently posted..Gold Dusted Fresh Made Goat Milk Soap
Sheila says
April 1, 2015 at 11:49 amDefinately cherish every moment. I can’t believe how quickly the time has gone by.
Tamara says
April 2, 2015 at 9:18 pmI often wonder how I’ll handle these years since I handle change so terribly. And 18! Now that I’m a parent, it doesn’t AT ALL seem like an adult. Maybe 30 does. Maybe.
Tamara recently posted..One-Year-Olds Are My Spirit Animal.
Sheila says
April 8, 2015 at 3:10 pmMaybe 40