The Worst Egg Decorating Kit on the Planet

About this time, it dawns on my family that Easter is around the corner. If it weren’t for tax season, we might notice it’s pending arrival sooner.

Usually my husband or I (typically not both) remember to actually buy an egg decorating kit before it’s too late.

This past weekend, my husband remembered Easter and purchased this egg decorating  kit.

paas volano eggsplosion

You’re staring at the crayon, aren’t you?

Let me give you a moment to let the artwork on the box soak in. As my Facebook friends were quick to note, there are several sexual innuendos displayed on this egg decorating kit.

Got your mind out of the gutter? Let’s move on to the contents of the box. Or maybe I should say lack of contents in the box. Because there were just six crayons and one inadequate crayon sharpener in the box. The “silly circles”, “egg stands” and “drying tray” are just part of the stupid box. The box you rip when you open, despite your most valiant efforts.

Now, if you are like me, you are used to actually dyeing eggs for Easter. You put those little colored tablets in cups of water and soak hard boiled eggs until they become the color you like. And then you decorate them with stickers or marker.

Not this PAAS decorating kit. Nope, this one requires you to shave wax crayons while you are boiling the eggs.

Go ahead and ask your kids if they are interested in shaving six colored crayons. If they say yes, see if they have any interest in doing it after about 30 seconds of shaving the first one.

crayon shavings

G was a trooper and did a good amount of crayon shaving. Guess who did the rest?

My wrists and fingers hurt just looking at the above pictures.

At this point, we were too far into the project to abandon it. G and I agreed to give it a try, despite the annoyance of having to shave down six crayons and putting the colors into separate piles that looked far too small for 12 eggs.

Luckily, I read the package before I boiled the eggs – something my husband clearly didn’t do when he bought this “volcano eggsplosion” egg coloring kit – and knew we needed to have the wax shards ready before the eggs were done. We raced to finish our colorful crayon shaving piles because the next step required hot eggs.

During this time, Biz was running around the living room with vampire teeth in his mouth completely uninterested in decorating that didn’t involved dropping eggs into colored liquid. He was also alarmed when I took the pot of freshly boiled eggs into the dining room. (Clearly I was going to burn him with the hot water.)

And then we sprinkled shards of crayon wax onto the hot eggs I carefully placed onto the newspaper on our dining room table.

waxing eggs

Sprinkling shards of colored wax on hot eggs is not as fun as it sounds.

The “eggsplosion” is supposed to come when the wax melts and the colors run together. The problem is that you really can’t move the egg around and adequately cover it with colored wax because you’ll pretty much just spread wax around and get the egg stuck to the newspaper.

Also, I was right that the amount of wax we ended up with really wasn’t enough for a dozen eggs. We ended up seeing a lot of white and not a whole lot of the “eggsplosion” the package illustrates.

waxed easter eggs

Our final waxed eggs. They look slightly better in the basket. Emphasis on slightly.

My boys weren’t impressed that the dried eggs were “bumpy” due to the wax.

I may end up having to buy another kit this week so the boys can enjoy the traditional way of decorating Easter eggs. Plus, our eggs look pretty sad.

To me, this PAAS Volcano Eggsplosion decorating kit seemed like a bad DIY Easter egg decorating craft you’d find on Pinterest, packaged in a box.

What about you? Does this project seem like fun to you or are you good with dyeing eggs the traditional way?

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Comments

  1. LOL! Sorry I’m laughing but that so seems like something that I would buy, too. I just bought a kit with gold glitter. That should be a disaster!
    Michelle recently posted..So Long “Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day”!My Profile

  2. Lol but congrats to mom on a good effort!

    Sounds to me like the tax guy needs to stick with taxes.

    Hugs to all
    BRB

  3. Ha..hahaaha…ha…I mean sorry…but um, I didn’t look that closely at the box until you suggested certain, um…innuendos and then I burst out laughing. So sorry…
    Okay, well then…melted wax sticking to the newspaper…I hate it when the box suggests you’re going to have epic-looking eggs and they turn out to be less than perfect. They never tell you on the box that some machine probably made them or that some photo expert (in this case a guy with a very warped mind) did some photo manipulation…
    Anyways, I hope you have better luck with the next batch of eggs with a better kit. :)
    Cyndi recently posted..10 Reasons Why President Obama Should Buy My Painting of Highway 209 OverlookMy Profile

    • I posted the pic of the box on Facebook to complain about the contents, but my friends couldn’t get past the box! That cover art was definitely computer-generated by someone who was probably laughing the whole time. I told the boys we could have a do-ver if they’d like.

  4. No lie, my fingers hurt just reading this! So glad I have been warned off that since I can totally see my girls picking that one when we buy our kit today! ;)-Ashley
    thedoseofreality recently posted..Home Alone 5: The Blogger EditionMy Profile

  5. haha..the bunny holding the yellow crayon..in the way he’s holding it..is the first thing I noticed. Glad I”m not the only one. This looks dreadful! At least it made a great blog post.
    Tamara recently posted..Tips On Phoning It In.My Profile

  6. First of all, my mind is totally in the gutter right now – but when it comes out, I will wrote myself a note to never buy this product. Clearly this was not a sponsored post for PAAS. LOL!
    ilene recently posted..A FavorMy Profile

  7. I feel like PAAS needs a viable competitor. This is just absurd. The packaging alone- they have to see that is NOT appropriate. And the lameness of the concept- FAIL. I encourage someone with a lot of Easter enthusiasm to start a rival brand.
    Hannah Curtis recently posted..Mission in ProgressMy Profile

  8. Oh my gosh Jennifer I’m laughing so hard I’m almost crying! This is one of the funniest posts I have read in a long time! But good for you for sticking to it! PLEASE you HAVE to pin this in our Pin It Tuesday Linky tomorrow! I just pinned it for the hell of it cause it made me laugh so hard! You weren’t sure if you’d have pinnable posts… this one IS!!!
    Alexa recently posted..Welcome to my New Home! Big Giveaways!My Profile

  9. Thanks for linking it! I am still laughing!!!
    Alexa recently posted..Welcome to my New Home! Big Giveaways!My Profile

  10. Oh, no! We actually saw that kit and I thought… I can do that for less. We save crayons from restaurants and I used a hair dryer to completely melt the wax. You might be able to touch them up … or just dye them as is over the top to save them.

  11. Oh my gosh, that’s sooo funny. Although if my husband had brought that home I would not be as amused. We’re going shopping for a nice decorating kit on Thursday, fingers crossed that we find a better one! :-)
    Joanna recently posted..Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne JonesMy Profile

  12. forgot to subscribe!
    Joanna recently posted..Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne JonesMy Profile

  13. YIKES! I’ve not seen this kit before… but pretty sure I won’t be looking for it — except to stay away from it — LOL. You were good sports to see the project through! Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
    Sally recently posted..A Tale of Two PrettiesMy Profile

  14. So how many times did you look at your hubs and go…”really???” This sounds like a story right out of my house!!!! Poor guys…their decision making process is always a gamble!! I actually- despite the disastrous project, think those eggs look really cool!!! LOL
    Chris Carter recently posted..The Party Moms Should Refuse…My Profile

  15. Hi! Found you through Pin It Tuesday. This post is hilarious! I didn’t notice the innuendo until you mentioned it, but it’s hard to miss now!
    Marie Oliveira recently posted..Work on It Wednesday – Week 13 – 3/27My Profile

  16. I’m glad you posted this.. cause I would have totally bought that! I looks awesome, but I guess looks can be deceiving. lol

  17. OMG! The art work is horrible! They should have realized it was inappropriate. How about a warning saying “individual results may vary” lol. I wouldn’t want my kids working with hot eggs either. With a name like PAAS, I bet your husband thought it had to be good. They usually have really great products but this one should be pulled! If someone wants to attempt this themselves, they should be directed to a box of crayons and Pinterest. UGH! Hope you can make it out to get a regular eye dying kit!
    Julie @ 70WPM recently posted..UGLee pen {A review and giveaway}My Profile

  18. OMG- I am so glad that I didn’t buy that one! LOL. At least you have a funny memory to look back on years from now, right? :) Happy Easter! Found you through Sharefest. :)
    Erin @ The Grass Skirt recently posted..Weekly round-up (3/30)My Profile

  19. Live & learn! This is hilarious! Thanks for the laugh this morning. Found you via SITS Sharefest- I look forward to checking out the rest of your blog!
    KJ@PlustheMagic recently posted..Favorites on Friday: The Stave ChurchMy Profile

  20. Stopping by from Saturday SHAREFEST… OMG OMG OMG… I saw tha tkit and put it down and got the monster one instead…which wasn’t that bad.

    The sexual innuendos, ROTFLMAO…love it…

    Going to follow your blog now

    Enjoy the weekend.

  21. Augustine says:

    So like YA, this volcano travesty is the worst egg decorating kit of all time!! My wife and I were very dis satisfied with the whole concept of melting wax on HOT eggs. Shaving the crayons was the worst part because my hands got tired and the crayon kept breaking inside the cheap sharpener that was provided. I ended up going to the nearest Kroger looking for a regular PAAS coloring kit and another dozen of eggs. Never again.!! Thanks for letting me vent.

    • We used one of my son’s pencil sharpeners, which worked better, but I had to throw it away after using it with the crayons. Such a terrible idea. We’ll definitely stick with the traditional PAAS kits in the future!

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