Stopping for Fun

I’m writing this post as I sit on my comfy leather couch for the first time since moving into my new place. Sitting hasn’t been on the agenda as of late. I’ve been slowly moving since last Wednesday. We’re not closing on our old house until this Friday, so I have the luxury (or curse?) of time on my side.

We’ve got all the big stuff in our new house though. It’s really just small odds and ends and cleaning up the old house before saying goodbye to it. Bittersweet, I suppose, but I love my new place. It’s a much more manageable size for me and my boys, and we’ve got a playground that’s typically full of kids just steps from our backyard.

In the past few weeks, I’ve packed up my big old house, finalized a divorce, acknowledged what would have been my “firstborn’s” fourteenth birthday and an almost 14 year wedding anniversary, and moved into my new normal.

Who am I kidding? I am still moving into my new normal. And I’m enjoying every moment. Because even when the stress piles on and the to do list seems like it has no end, life is still pretty darn good.

bloggybuddiesandkids

A big New England blogger meetup with Bev from Linkouture, Tamara from Tamara Like Camera, and all our kiddos!

Sometimes you have to just stop and breathe. Or maybe just take off for a few days and meet up with some good bloggy friends and their kids. While I should have been packing, it was worth it to meet up with people whom I had only (with the exception of a quick meeting at BlogHer in Chicago) corresponded with online. And when we met in person, it was if we had known each other for years.
Of course, I couldn’t let summer go by without letting Biz ride on his very first big roller coaster. While I stood mildly terrified on the ground, he just made the height requirement. Had he worn different shoes, it might have been a different story.

It pays to stop for some fun every now and then.

canobielakecoasterDuring the chaos, I was also tagged on Facebook to do a five day gratitude challenge. While I’m not big on those type of challenges, I figured it was a good week to acknowledge my gratitude publicly. Gratitude is good for the soul after all.

Since last week was a blur, I decided to take a look at what I shared:

  1. My two amazing boys, who will always be my #1
  2. My inner strength, which has taken me further than I ever thought possible
  3. Those people in my life who “get it” (and still stick around even when they don’t)
  4. My furry boy, Kailua, who still gets mistaken for a puppy even though he’s 11
  5. Meaningful words and actions
  6. Knowing what happiness means for me
  7. Adventures new and old
  8. A big, comfy king-sized bed
  9. Good wine after a long day of shlepping boxes
  10. The ability to work for myself and follow my dreams
  11. Big opportunities
  12. Secret, non-judgmental Facebook groups with sinister hashtags
  13. Freedom
  14. Good, supportive friends near and far
  15. The amazing view from the high road

I’d say the list is pretty accurate.

While my brain continues to go in all directions, I am starting to settle down. I’ll be back reading blogs and responding to your wonderful comments. I’ve missed you all this past week.

Wordless Wednesday: Happy Left Handers Day!

It’s International Left Handers Day! Are you a lefty like me? Read more about Left Handers Day, shop at my favorite left-handed store, or visit my All Things Left-Handed tumblr site.

Or, take this test to see just how left-handed you really are.

If you are right-handed, take a moment to try and do something left-handed today. It’s our day!

left handers day 2014

Wordless Wednesday (8.13.14): Happy Left Handers Day!

Linking up with
5 Minutes for Mom
Wordless Wednesday
Wordless Wednesday @ The Jenny Evolution
Curious as a Cathy

Split

courtroom2I could feel my bones press against the cold, hard marble bench as I sat and waited outside of Courtroom 2. A tsunami of feelings were flooding my brain as I watched people mill about first thing Monday morning. Pain, sadness, anger, happiness, hope and relief all wound into one beautiful ball of raw emotion.

There was nervous laughter, talk of PFA orders, and a general uneasiness in the air.

I came to the courthouse happy and hopeful, but I found my heart beating harder as the time ticked on. The man at the metal detector had asked me if I had any throwing stars with me today. If only.

My phone vibrated again and again, sending me messages of encouragement.

Split.

On what would have been our “firstborn’s” 14th birthday. On the eve of what would have been our 14th wedding anniversary. The day after the “superest supermoon” (not to be confused with the blood moon). Two days before moving out of the home we were to live in until the boys graduated from high school.

Closure.

When our last name was finally called, the last time I will hold that name legally, we were told to sit at separate tables facing the judge. We went through our agreement, an agreement that took months to finalize together, raised our right hands to swear we were telling the truth, and we confirmed our irreconcilable differences. An understatement really.

I didn’t expect to feel so much emotion, but I guess that’s to be expected. Not just the splitting of a marriage, it’s the split of a twenty-year relationship. The split of a family, including kids and dogs. The split of bank accounts and property.

We were 18 when we met. It seems a lifetime ago. So many memories. So much growing. But people don’t always grow in the same direction. What once was aligned can fall off kilter.

No regrets.

It’s the right thing to do, and that taste of freedom, admittedly, has been enjoyable over the past few months. The finality feels weird. That had been my only word for it. Weird. Yet, I still have two boys whose hearts have been broken.

I continue to focus on the good. Because there is much good going on in the background right now. So much. Enough good to combat the bad. There’s that too, of course. A lot of bad. But we all have the choice to be happy. It helps to have a good attitude too.

Breathe.

We will put back together the broken pieces and find our new normal. In a new place. Very soon.

My mantra for now:

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